What Child is This?
I love Christmas.
The lights, the music, the “spirit of Christmas” everyone talks about-it is just a feeling of warmth and joy unparalleled the rest of the year. All my life I have loved it, even when I was an atheist in my high school and college years. I looked forward to going out and finding gifts, decorating the tree, even singing the carols about the birth of Jesus. It was an American tradition, our tradition. The fondest memories I will ever have of my family are those of music playing all the time, the fire in the fireplace (even though it was Southern California), the tree glimmering in the living room, dad getting everything ready before we came running out Christmas morning. Pretty traditional, nothing very unique-yet a deep well of memories I go to every year.
The first year as a Christian stands out too. I sat in a candlelight service Christmas Eve that year at my brother’s church, tears streaming down my face ….For the first time I celebrated the birth of Jesus really believing it happened! The candles flickered as we sang and I soaked it all in….I was living the Scrooge story, a new man, ready to make my life count for something eternal!
Twenty-eight Christmases later, my precious mom and dad are gone. I will not hear their voices, hear the music, feel the warmth of the fire again….. A year ago on Christmas Eve, tears streamed down my face again, but for sorrow….sorrow that I will never share another Christmas with them. As I sat in church a few weeks ago, I began to think of it all again. The pain of losing them, the joy that is now missing during this season….but then, while we sang “What Child is This”, my daughter’s warm little hand slipped into mine. I smiled as we sang, thinking how God is using this child to bless me here, now. Indeed, the joy my own children give me during Christmas, and I hope I give them, brings the light back. The tangible helps me remember the intangible… that it all happens because of the Child…from whom all light comes…and who my mom and dad now worship and enjoy in person…
I still love Christmas.
The lights, the music, the “spirit of Christmas” everyone talks about-it is just a feeling of warmth and joy unparalleled the rest of the year. All my life I have loved it, even when I was an atheist in my high school and college years. I looked forward to going out and finding gifts, decorating the tree, even singing the carols about the birth of Jesus. It was an American tradition, our tradition. The fondest memories I will ever have of my family are those of music playing all the time, the fire in the fireplace (even though it was Southern California), the tree glimmering in the living room, dad getting everything ready before we came running out Christmas morning. Pretty traditional, nothing very unique-yet a deep well of memories I go to every year.
The first year as a Christian stands out too. I sat in a candlelight service Christmas Eve that year at my brother’s church, tears streaming down my face ….For the first time I celebrated the birth of Jesus really believing it happened! The candles flickered as we sang and I soaked it all in….I was living the Scrooge story, a new man, ready to make my life count for something eternal!
Twenty-eight Christmases later, my precious mom and dad are gone. I will not hear their voices, hear the music, feel the warmth of the fire again….. A year ago on Christmas Eve, tears streamed down my face again, but for sorrow….sorrow that I will never share another Christmas with them. As I sat in church a few weeks ago, I began to think of it all again. The pain of losing them, the joy that is now missing during this season….but then, while we sang “What Child is This”, my daughter’s warm little hand slipped into mine. I smiled as we sang, thinking how God is using this child to bless me here, now. Indeed, the joy my own children give me during Christmas, and I hope I give them, brings the light back. The tangible helps me remember the intangible… that it all happens because of the Child…from whom all light comes…and who my mom and dad now worship and enjoy in person…
I still love Christmas.
posted by Rob | 8:28 AM
1 Comments:
Rob,
What a beautiful reflection! I really enjoyed this blog.
Emily
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