Holidays
Lot's of people don't seem to really care about holidays. Many of our friends are quite cynical about them, convinced they are mostly Hallmark marketing ploys. But I disagree. Holidays are great markers to remember the important things in our lives. President Washington was called the Father of our country for a reason. We should all take some time to give thanks to God for all that we have. And St. Patrick was quite an example of courage and faith. It is a good thing to remember things like this, and quite biblical. God often told His people to put up markers that point to something great that God did, or named landmarks in the same way. So here are few thoughts on recent holidays...they do matter
FATHER'S DAY
"Having five children has taught me a truth as cosmic as any that you can find on a mountain in Tibet: There are no absolutes in raising children...The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more rewards and joys." Bill Cosby, Fatherhood
Yesterday was Father's Day. It's always fun to see what the kids will do. They usually make me something or draw me a picture. One year my wife had them write down the things they appreciate most about me-that was one of my favorites. I remember my son wrote something like "He plays with me!" Yes, that is true and there is nothing more fun for me.
But I am afraid our society doesn't really know what to do with fathers, even the church. We are largely given lip service, even though in the last several years there have been several studies showing the importance of fathers. Most tv shows, commercials and movies portray fathers as idiots or angry demigods. Recently we watched Man from Snowy River and Back to the Future. These classics both have fathers who are like this. So does Little Mermaid or Flicka. Even in National Treasure 1 and 2 and Indiana Jones the father is paranoid or very eccentric (but likeable, I admit.) Do we ever see a good, smart,well-adjusted brave Father? I can't think of one. As our kids watch a steady diet of this, are we really surprised if they disrespect us?
The church isn't a whole lot better. For Mother's Day our church gave all the moms flowers, had them stand, and talked about how wonderful mothers are (and they are!!) On Fathers' Day, we got to stand....but to be prayed for. The pastor challenged us in the sermon. No gift. No honor. No real appreciation. Instead, we need to be fixed, to do better.... And it is like this pretty much every year.
I try to take it all in stride and just enjoy the greatest gift I have ever been given-my kids. Doubtless, many fathers do need to do better. But is that really the theme of Father's Day?
I think if we valued fathers more, maybe they would want to do even better in their role...and even want to stay there.
So next year, why not try to make Father's Day a bigger deal... and see what happens.
FATHER'S DAY
"Having five children has taught me a truth as cosmic as any that you can find on a mountain in Tibet: There are no absolutes in raising children...The game may be messy, but I have never found one with more rewards and joys." Bill Cosby, Fatherhood
Yesterday was Father's Day. It's always fun to see what the kids will do. They usually make me something or draw me a picture. One year my wife had them write down the things they appreciate most about me-that was one of my favorites. I remember my son wrote something like "He plays with me!" Yes, that is true and there is nothing more fun for me.
But I am afraid our society doesn't really know what to do with fathers, even the church. We are largely given lip service, even though in the last several years there have been several studies showing the importance of fathers. Most tv shows, commercials and movies portray fathers as idiots or angry demigods. Recently we watched Man from Snowy River and Back to the Future. These classics both have fathers who are like this. So does Little Mermaid or Flicka. Even in National Treasure 1 and 2 and Indiana Jones the father is paranoid or very eccentric (but likeable, I admit.) Do we ever see a good, smart,well-adjusted brave Father? I can't think of one. As our kids watch a steady diet of this, are we really surprised if they disrespect us?
The church isn't a whole lot better. For Mother's Day our church gave all the moms flowers, had them stand, and talked about how wonderful mothers are (and they are!!) On Fathers' Day, we got to stand....but to be prayed for. The pastor challenged us in the sermon. No gift. No honor. No real appreciation. Instead, we need to be fixed, to do better.... And it is like this pretty much every year.
I try to take it all in stride and just enjoy the greatest gift I have ever been given-my kids. Doubtless, many fathers do need to do better. But is that really the theme of Father's Day?
I think if we valued fathers more, maybe they would want to do even better in their role...and even want to stay there.
So next year, why not try to make Father's Day a bigger deal... and see what happens.
posted by Rob | 2:19 PM
7 Comments:
Rob- perhaps they pray for you because they truly know what an awesome task God has given you! I don't envy the position nor the responsibility!
Amanda
Personally I'd rather have prayers, that can't die, and have meaning than a silly flower that I tend to kill with in 5 minutes of taking it home. I wasn't here this Mother's Day, but really a flower? I refused the one they tried to give me in Idaho (visiting my mother in law's church)
What do you want next year?
(as for cool dad's in movies, the Mummy 2 Brandon Frasier is pretty good one, beating up mummies and scorpion kings and all that....)
Rob,
I think you are right...sadly. And perhaps the women are running many of the churches now...
We like to try to fix...or we try to control- instead of trusting God. It is our job to honor- any changing should be left to God.
tori
(Also...after that talk of how great mothers are, I always leave knowing how short I fall from their description.)
Thanks for the comments. I appreciate them! I think t misunderstands me though-I did not want flowers. But why did they give flowers to mothers? Because most women love them. It speaks to them. But there is no consideration of what speaks to men. Surely there is something besides brainless action movies, that would, somehow, symbolize appreciation for fathers, especially Chrisitian ones. We are treated for what seems to be only duty.
Honestly I think most gifts on mother's day or father's day are really belittling. I don't know. It seems like we are saying "wow you did such a great job, and all that hard work, you really deserve this..." soon to die Flower,your 15th screw driver, used tie from DI, another blender or toaster, lawnmower etc. (maybe those heart felt letters, and drawing from kids are different, but I don't usually get any, unless I remind them what day it is)
Perhaps a nice new Bible or a Christian book talking about motherhood or father hood would be better, something lasting and something that I can get something out of. That's why I said I'd much rather have prayers than a gift, because I know prayers ARE something that will affect my life.
I could have sworn one year we gave the fathers at Maranatha screw drivers... But is that really any better than flowers?
I think it's all pretty cheesy trying to show respect and honor to parents and it reduces it to nothing more than 'here's your payment for a years work, well done... go on your way' attitude.
As for any movies out there, I think they all lack what you are looking for. We aren't going to see Christian parenting in main stream movies. Most Christians don't parent in Christian ways now days. We look to much like the world in our own families.
I'm coming from a background of having a servant-hearted father. He did the cooking and cleaning and everything that would be labeled 'mother stuff' so I'm probably a bit skewed in my views of what a father should and shouldn't do.
I did learn recently that little girls grow up and flirt, because they want to be loved, and little boys grow up and brag because they want to be respected. I'm thinking that's right on the money.
(personally I bet it was some woman who decided to give out the flowers for mother's day. If I thought that it was a father, remembering to honor all the mom's, going and buying all the flowers, I'd be surprised... I could be wrong...but usually it doesn't work that way. I guess a question would be, if you have this on your heart, perhaps next you you should set about to honor the other fathers in the congregation yourself... it might mean you don't get the gift, but I've found that if you want anything done, you usually have to do it yourself)
Again, you didn't answer. What gift would a group of men in a congregation want to get on Father's day that wouldn't make them feel like they were just being respected for their 'job' of fatherhood and not for their 'heart' of fatherhood?
Maybe we should give the flowers to the men and the screwdrivers to the gals. Stir things up next year.
Well Tina, I don't have an answer for the gift question. I have tried to think of something for a long time, but haven't come up with a good idea yet. I wonder what other churches have done?
Rob
Amen Rob.
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